Saturday, February 25, 2006

Not necessarily the news

Excuses, excuses, excuses
Mylapore, Madras, Tamil Nadu

Fatigued, behind schedule and plagued with menstrual cramps. Again! didn't that just happen last month?? (impatient hands on hips). Time to ring up the team of ghost, er that's GUEST, writers...(then again, the Comments Posters have been pretty busy in my absence).

How to Prevent Household Monks
Random Salad
It looks innocent enough, but what exactly is in the bowl? Ramen. But the other dude’s gonna shank you!
While monks may work and pray diligently for the sanctity of mankind, they can cause problems for homeowners. Whether they’re chanting in your pantry, worshipping in your family room, or repenting in the garage, an infestation of monks can seriously jeopardize your health, home, and property.
These are some of the more common dangers and health risks associated with various types of household monks:

1-Monks spend a lot of time hanging around lepers and others who are otherwise unclean and can bring these conditions with them into your home.

2-Children witnessing monks in the ecstasy of self-flagellation have been known to “experiment” by whipping themselves and others mercilessly.

3-Nonstop chanting can be noisy or, ironically, could lull you into unconsciousness in the tub, causing a drowning risk

4-Residue from monks’ porridge is difficult to scrub off the sides of aluminum pots.

5-Monks’ robes shedded during spring and summer could pile up and be tripped over.

6-Ascetics’ shirts woven from itchy human hair are a smelly fire hazard.

7-Monks who have taken a vow of silence but not learned sign language will point emphatically until the other monks figure out what he wants. It gets annoying.

Conducive Conditions
While the treatment of monks should generally be left to professionals, there are a few basics to monk prevention that every homeowner should know. Understanding and eliminating elements that attract monks is key to prevention. The following three elements are essential to monk survival, so they should be minimized or eliminated entirely in your home...
full story here

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